1. flowers picked from the roadside
2. eyes for his dad
3. sun shining down on our little town
4. more mouths to feed
5. five
: :
sleepless nights roll into busy days. life feels full. the weeks fly by in a blur of nappies and night feeds. lunchboxes and lullabies. washing and wiping. mess and mayhem. it takes me three days to return a phone call. three weeks to write a blog post. i'm truly up to my neck in parenting.
oscar is approaching four months now. i can feel myself being enveloped in that heavy cloak of fatigue. i try and cling to the delicious baby details, but i know when i go to retrieve them later, they will mostly be lost in the fog.
yesterday i found myself googling 'three children chaos.' i don't know what i was hoping to find. answers? help? solace? a smoother path through the storm? in some strange way though, i'm learning to embrace this chaos. the way we ricochet from one crazy moment to the next. then collapse in a heap. sometimes laughing, sometimes crying. how time and time again i find a whole new level of letting go.
life is intensely challenging and wonderful in equal parts. right now i crave personal space, time with my own thoughts, peace and quiet, a few minutes on my own. but i know that in the blink of an eye this chapter will be closed. i'll longingly look back and yearn for the baby sounds and smells and softness that fills my world right now. the funny things elliot says. aila's sweet innocence.
while this tornado continues to spin around me, my focus is on surviving each day. holding on and enjoying the wild ride and finding some space to savour the sweet moments too.